Its getting worser and worser everyday. I'm a type of employee who rarely absent. I value my job and make sure that I'm doing best. I make sure that I have integrity in what I do. For me it would not be an achievement if you get something through cheating or deceit. I am not a perfect employee but I fight fair and with this attitude I am expecting people around me to be fair too. Well, too much expectation really brings in frustration. World is not fair and I need to cope up. I am trying to control myself not to be swallowed by my own frustration or annoyance and transform into a non-productive employee. Every day is a struggle for me. I find my work place not healthy anymore. Sometimes I think whats the value of me working hard and doing things well. I tried applying outside our company but I have no luck.
With my salary, compensation and benefits I have no complain. But I guess being happy at work is not just about the money your taking home. I am looking for self fulfillment, but with whats happening (rumors, politics, resentment etc.) I am getting discourage. I'm loosing my spirit of eagerness to be a good asset to the company. I don't know how long I could cope up. I need a job to support my family and I cannot just leave. I thank God for my job but I also prayed to give me strength and patience. As for now all I can do is to pull myself off to work everyday and try to accept reality.
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