Goodbye Lola

It was David's graduation day when my mom send me a text message that my lola passed away. I am not surprised since she's going in and out of the hospital recently. I did not cry but I am sad for what happen. I did not reply to her message because I am speechless. I was not able to visit her when she was confined at the hospital. Lola has diabetes for so many years and I think there are already lots of complications that cause her death. She also had a mild stroke before and she is high blood too. Alzheimer is also one of her illness before she got bed ridden. I still remember when she was still ok. She's talkative and love telling stories. I do remember her stories about dwarfs that kidnapped my tito when he was still small. Thanks to God for her long life and loving family. I love you Lola Julia!

5th Year Wedding Anniversary

Last February 9, 2010 was our 5th year wedding anniversary. They said a good gift for this is something made up of wood. Well, we don't have any gift for each other but we had a good time together on that day. 

We waited for David, my first son, to come out of school at around 11am so that we can brought the kids to my mom. We decided to have lunch outside and have David cut his hair before going to my mom's house. Good thing though when I send a text message to mommy she is also at SM Molino, the same place where we are going. We had our lunch together with Mamu at Greenwich. We ate fried chicken with rice, spaghetti and hawaiin pizza. It was really a heavy meal, yummy!!! After that we went to a barber shop in the mall to cut David's hair and there also both of us had a relaxing foot spa. My mom went home with my two kids. After the foot spa we also had a pedicure. This is our first time to have a foot spa.

We then decided to watch a movie. Good thing Avatar is still showing since we haven't watched it. Since it is still more than an hour before the start of the next show we decided to spend time playing Bingo. We won the blackout game but we did not get the big prize, we only got P404, hehehe. After more than an hour of playing we bought shawarma so that we can have something to eat inside the cinema. Bad thing the lady on the ticket booth said that it is not allowed inside because of the strong smell. We still have 15mins left before the start of the movie so we ate it with a rush. It is a little messy because of the sauce.

I enjoyed the movie even though all we have left is just mineral water. Before I thought Avatar is a cartoon. The story is really amazing specially the effects. There is no dull moment and that is what I really like. The movie is not for little kids because of the story, maybe a 10 or 11 yrs old will be able to relate to it. Pandora is a beautiful place, I would like to see a forest glittering just like in the movie.

It was almost 8pm when we walked out the movie theater. We played video games for a few minutes before we went to Mamu's house. We just walk from SM Molino going to Camella gate, I guess it is 3-5minutes walk. The kids are excited to see us back and we had our dinner at my mom's house then we went home. It was a tiring day but one of the moments that I will treasure the rest of my life.

H A P P Y  5th  Y E A R  A N N I V E R S A R Y  M A H A L!!!

PAIN

PAIN

Some are avoiding it

Some don't want to feel it

Some try to heal it

Some try to recover from it

Some are afraid of it

Some don't tolerate it

Some keeps away from it

Some ignores it

For me it is a sign

A sign that I still care for you

A sign that I love you

A sign that I treasure you

As long as I can feel it

Whenever you do something wrong

I know I have this love for you

So please don't go.

December 15, 2009 - at work (APC) while waiting for a call

The New Me

The New Me

I love you

But not like before

I love you

Now I don't know how much more

You've shorten my temper

With what your are doing

My patience is no longer there

I'm now changed in to a new thing

I love you

Hope you can still feel it

I love you

Hope I can still hold on to it

I now talk a lot

I no longer stay calm

What have you done

You changed me in to a new someone

I don't like this new me

But I can't help it, baby

I don't like this new me

But I can no longer control myself, honey

It hurts me to see us like this

It hurts me & I hope you can notice

It is like a pain that I can't resist

It is something that I don't want to persist

This is the new me

Molded by your action

This is the new me

Molded by your caption

But there is still one thing

That I can say that haven't change

That is my willingness to stay

Praying that everything will not go astray

(Written on December 14, 2009 maybe around 9:45pm outside SM Bacoor while waiting for our shuttle service going to work)

Love

Do you believe in the quotation Love is an Ocean of Emotion ? When we say love there are thousands of descriptions and beliefs out there. Some people doesn't even believe in it. Love is everywhere that's what they say. But how can we say that love is everywhere when many of us have different definitions of it? How can we say that it is everywhere when all we see on the news are cruelties and crimes everywhere.

For me love doesn't depend on emotion but instead more of a commitment. Our feelings change rapidly and is dependent to what we see and what we experienced. If your loved one betrayed you or mistreated you suddenly the feeling of love that you have flies away. I guess it is not true love. Real love is something that you can compare to the love of a little child to his parents. Even if his dad or mom spunk him or did not give  him what he wanted still he would still continue loving them. A little child doesn't hold grudges like adults commonly do. But no matter what others say I would just continue loving and loving and loving... ^_^

Looking for a Romantic Partner?

Are you married or currently have a boyfriend? Are you bore about your relationship because your partner is not romantic? Most ladies want to have a romantic partner. Someone who will give them chocolates and roses even on a regular day, someone who gives surprise gifts on special events, some who whispers sweet words while you're dancing, someone who prepares a candle light dinner etc.

I was reading my blogroll and I saw this story "Reason to Love" on my bestfriend's blog. This story is about a woman who wanted to leave her husband because of him being not romantic or what she called insensitive. I was able to relate to the story because my husband is someone like him. He is not romantic but I know through his own special way he loves us, me and my kids. Read the story below and learn from it.

Reason to Love

My husband is an Engineer by profession; I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked.

“I am tired; there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered:

“Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face
of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”

He said: ” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further…”

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. “When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save m! y eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month; I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die… “

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone… That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model; it could be the dullest and boring form…. flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life…